semi BARNABAS nary

a poem for my exegesis paper on Romans 8:26-27

Babies crying with no place to sleep

Mothers defending their children as they weep

Fathers who walk out from their loved ones homes

This is the world to which we belong

Wars and violence plague our channels

News and media feed off em’ like cattle

Everyone looks out for his or her own

This is the world that we call home

Bringing it deeper let’s talk about us

Comfort and wealth is this the god that we trust?

Seeking glory while skipping the pain

This is the world we’re living to gain?

Spirit of God don’t just help us to pray

Help us oh God, in every way

Weak as we are, we know you are strong

In your arms we know, it’s where we belong

Look no further!

When your best friend throws you a surprise party? Jesus. When you’re repeatedly feeling lonely and depressed because you think no one loves you or cares about you? Jesus. When you’re desperate for hope and longing for peace? Jesus! When you’ve tried and tried to find community, but somehow it still isn’t working out? Jesus! When your ministry is failing? Jesus. When your church is thriving? Jesus. When you celebrate the birth of a new family member? Jesus. When you sit beside a loved one in a hospital bed? Jesus. When you’re old and gray? Jesus. When you sit in the sun and enjoy the youth of your days? Jesus. 

Look no further.

He is the one you’ve been longing for. 

ah..I need some more times with God

catching my breath

Reading week #2 begins. (reading week means no classes- purpose is to catch up on all our work. i have thousands of pages to read, a hebrew exam to study for, and a paper to write.)

Our God is Able

with outstretched arms

I got to lead a song of response in another church today! Then we had lunch. 

Four of us went off to a place called “China Buffet” which is owned by a Christian Chinese sister from that church. The food was actually really good. Anyways, here I got to actually talk about things of depth. I didn’t know there were others like me here. I don’t want to share too much—you’ll have to ask me personally, but it was just exhilarating. EXHILARATING!

To my brothers and sisters who may be going through occasional cycles of depression and bitterness/envy: 

Do not let these things take control of you! DO NOT LET THEM BE AN EXCUSE FOR YOU TO HARBOR HATRED AGAINST YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS! The way I used to deal with these really negative feelings was to remain bitter and remain jealous, letting this darkness cover too much of my heart. But for the past 2 weeks ish, I’ve been going to God EVERYNIGHT in PRAYER AND PRAISE- 

singing and praying, GOD, I TRUST YOU. YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE I AM AND YOU ARE HERE WITH ME. YOU WALK WITH ME. YOU LOVE ME WITH AN UNFAILING LOVE. I TRUST IN YOU. WITH CLENCHED FISTS AND TEARS IN MY EYES, ARMS TOO TIRED FROM LIFTING THEM UP ALL NIGHT, GOD I TRUST YOU. YOU LOVE ME. I LOVE YOU.

Even if you have to cry all night and pound your clenched fists to the ground, DECLARE THAT GOD IS GOOD! DECLARE THAT HE IS EMMANUEL- GOD WITH US. Do not let bitterness own you. Do not let hatred own you. Do not point fingers or cast blame on others because of the way you feel. That’s too easy, but too too painful! 

JOIN ME, perhaps with tears streaming down your face, and declare “God is good! God is with me!” 

Let God be your keeper. Let him take care of you. Let him make your heart your dwelling place; bitterness, envy, anger, resentment, simply have no place. God has been responding to me; in fact, he’s been responding since that first night. My heart is more at ease and I’m walking with my head up. Would you join me? To God be the glory

Psalm 46

    For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth. A song.

 ¹ God is our refuge and strength, 
   an ever-present help in trouble. 
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way 
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 
³ though its waters roar and foam 
   and the mountains quake with their surging.

 ⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, 
   the holy place where the Most High dwells. 
⁵ God is within her, she will not fall; 
   God will help her at break of day. 
⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; 
   he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

 ⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us; 
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

 ⁸ Come and see what the LORD has done, 
   the desolations he has brought on the earth. 
⁹ He makes wars cease 
   to the ends of the earth. 
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; 
   he burns the shields with fire. 
¹⁰ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 
   I will be exalted among the nations, 
   I will be exalted in the earth.”

 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us; 
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.

chicken soup

Had a great talk with a bro today. Won’t post the details of this one. Was personal. You are more than welcome to talk to me or gchat me or w.e about it! 

This week is missions fair week at GC. Lots of cool things going on. I hope to check them all out, and I hope to be SENT OUT as well. 

Pray4me

Peaaaaaace

My God walks with me

My 9/29/11 went like this:

7:19am - wake up

8:00am-9:30am - hebrew

9:30am-10:40am - breathe/ read

10:45am-12:30pm - Interp NT

12:30pm-1:30pm - lunch (4 cups of water, half tuna and egg wrap, two fork fulls of pasta, salad- no dressing, raisin bran 2%milk. + conversation)

1:30pm - 2:00pm - walk around

2:00pm-4:14pm - study greek / sing

5:00pm - 7:00pm - dinner - 3 cups of water, 4 pieces of chicken (tasted like/ looked like white meat), salad - no dressing, 2 little fried mushrooms (they were surprisingly good), raisin bran 2%milk. 

7:00pm-8:00pm - i have no idea what i did here. 

8:00pm-9:15pm - introduced p90x to a friend. he could not keep up. i hope he comes back for more. good news, im up to week 12, day 4!

9:45pm-10:00pm - waited for prayer meeting to end so i could go in and pray. yes, that’s what i just said

10:00pm-10:45pm ish- sing

10:45pm - 11:20ishpm- ppl came in to pray so i joined in. profound prayer prayed over me. also enjoyed the time praying life into my bros

11:20pm - 12:00am - more singing

1:33am - exhausted.

Emmanuel

Emmanuel, God is with us. I’m so so so so so glad/thrilled/overwhelmed that He is! And oh, from OT Survey: the answer is not “I can do it,” it is “I AM will go with you”

Tonight at prayer meeting, I was pretty dead. Could not utter any prayers or sing any songs. But after a few hours, I found myself in the chapel again around 12 something in the morning. A brother was praying in there and I asked if it was OK to sing. He said “yes” so I started strumming. 

I didn’t really know what to sing, but words just came out and it became an awesome 20 minute long song! HAHAHAH! I never remember my spontaneous praise songs. But I recall the first few lines. Maybe I can sing it again…but I don’t remember the melody.

You are with us

You are with us

EMMANUEL, EMMANUEL

You are mighty

You are strong

DELIVERER, DELIVERER

I seriously don’t remember the rest, but I did pray throughout weaving singing with prayer. I re-declared a hope in God and AMENed “Emmanuel, God you are with ME!” Let’s see what the morning brings! I feel like I’ve got a renewed hope and a renewed peace! Now I have to spend the next few hours doing Hebrew and Interp stuff…dotdotdotdotdot

ehhh. mix of thoughts. blender.

At the salad bar (lol..why is it called a salad bar?) I overheard some brothers talking about a lady who had to pause in prayer to “hear from the Spirit”. Both of them were quick to say, “Yeah man, I’m a bit skeptical” and “Yeah I don’t know man..haha” 

HOW CAN THIS BE?! 

Yeah yeah, there’s questions of legitimacy and whatnot, but that’s not every case! 

And some ppl here have never even heard a pray-er pray in tongues. What’s up with that?

I’m no theologian. 

Thoughts?

patience

A brother gave me some words of wisdom about prayer

He told me, when I start to pray, to first pause. 

(pause)

(pause)

…

And then to ask God, “God, what would you like to do?” instead of presenting our needs, though they are still relevant and valid. It will take some patience to hear him, but keep at it! One sure word from God is better than an hour of rambling!